Veteran Mamas Are Not Exempt From Postpartum Depression
For most things in our lives, once you’ve done it once, you can probably do it again much better the next time. The caveat with this statement is that parenting and postpartum should be the exception. I’ll be honest to think that I would be a super parent the second time around since my first child had turned out pretty decent thus far and I knew what to expect in the newborn phase. Boy oh boy was I wrong.
The best advice I didn’t take early enough was to release any expectations of my second (or third) child being anything like my first. Unfortunately, it has taken me a while to actually implement that advice. I have tried almost every ‘trick’ in the book that worked for my son but none (absolutely none) of them have worked on my daughter. It’s safe to say, she came into this world on her own terms with her own terms and I’m still figuring them out. Plus with my third child things are even more different and the stages of each kid are different that I am going to throw my expectations of them out the window and just strive to help them be good human beings who love God.
When we prepare for our babies to enter this world, we do so much research, reading and preparing for the big day. It doesn’t matter how many children you have, there is a level of thought that goes into making sure there is some sort of organization and plan for when the baby comes home (it might happen the week before the baby is born for some of us but who’s counting?). Either way, we are usually pretty prepared for baby to get comfortable in their new home.
The one thing that as mamas we tend to overlook in this whole process, especially if you already have a little one(s) is the fourth trimester, which is defined as the 3 months after giving birth. As a second time mom, I thought it was going to be a breeze and that I wouldn’t have anywhere near the same level of anxiety I did with my first because I knew what to expect. While much of that was true, the one thing that didn’t cross my mind to prepare for was if I experienced PPD again (because I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen again). Well, I was wrong again but this time, it looked different which is why it took me longer to identify.
And now as a third time mama, I can safely say that no mama is exempt from the possibility of postpartum depression. With the birth of a child, there are so many changes happening inside mamas body that makes it normal to experience mood swings and PPD. Not only do the chemicals and hormones inside your body change, but also your world at home changes as well. Lack of sleep, improper self care (even in the form of not enough food) and so many other bumps in the road come up and make the 4th trimester that much harder. Healing is not an instant things but time does heal.
Tips to help with the 4th trimester
Give yourself time to heal
Whether that means putting yourself on bed rest to help you recover or going on walks to get fresh air to help with recovery. Do what YOU need to do to heal. I dont have the secret to the perfect healing journey or recovery from birth. You know yourself best so take time to figure out what makes you happy and what helps you heal.
Create a support group
For me, I felt that once I became a mama I had to do everything on my own. I was too proud to ask for help because it seemed like everyone else did it on their own just fine. But that’s not true. Everyone needs help, and it is OKAY to ask for help. Create connections with others and lean on them and allow them to lean on you too.
Turn it over to the Lord
Let go of all the extra worries in life and allow God to help you through this journey. Let Him guide you on this path and follow the Holy Spirit’s comfort and direction.
As you navigate your own postpartum journey, I encourage you to give yoruselg grace and time to figure out your new normal. It will take time but whatever works for you will be what allows you to thrive in this new season.
If you are looking for other mamas to walk alongside of during your new journey of motherhood (whether this is your first baby or 5th), I invite you to join our Spiritual Motherhood Community where we uplift each other and grow in the word of God together. It a free community meant to help you build mama friends, deepen your faith in Christ and emerge in your new role as a mama.
See you on the inside!